Rain On Me
by Remza
Summary: When everything you once knew is gone what do you do? Cry, beg, ask god for forgiveness? Or let the monsters eat you up inside.
1. Chapter 1

What was she to do? Cry, beg, ask god for forgiveness? Or let the monsters eat her up inside. 

As the soft summer breeze flew threw her hair she felt nothing but coldness and misery. The waves splashed against the harbor having a mellow feeling, the birds were singing and life was perfect to everyone but her. Her soul was pitch black, without any light to free her from her misery. Her frail face no longer filled with life and passion but dark circles consuming her life. Eyes chocolate brown that held no emtion or life, skin no longer bronze but pale as the moonlight glow. She was dead inside.

She was a horrible, horrible person. The need for revenges clouded her life. She wanted those who betrayed her to pay but she lost herself and her ability to face the future.

She once thought love could concour all, what a white lie that was. It left her with nothing but painful memories and broken promises. She sacrificed everything for him, her happiness most of all but to him it never was good enough. She was tired of fighting for something that was no longer there, tired of sleeping alone many nights, seeking the pillow for her only comfort. God how she loved him, he was the air she breathed now she was left with shallow breaths because he was gone and she was alone again. Maybe her need to love him and be with him wasnt enough or maybe she wasnt enough.

As she crept closer and closer to the water, not being able to turn back, like the water was calling her. As her foot touched the crystal clear blue water she stood there frozen like her heart and mind. Finally let the water free her. As the water overtook her mind, body ad soul, no thoughts drifted in her mind. Finally there was light at the end of the tunnel.

**Still holding the pregnancy test in her hand she felt so many emotions inside of her. Relief, pain, suprise and most of all sadness. The thought of being a mother brought her happiness she thought she would never have. Reading him or her the same book over and over again, helping them tie there shoes and being there threw every single aspect in their life. Her usually soft cherry lips and colgate smiled faded, her caramel eyes held sadness. She she never suppost to be happy?**

**God how she loved him, her heart rate quickened whenever he was around. He was like a hurricane, his love was like a thunder that shoke her body to the core. A smile would touch her lips whenever his name was mentioned. Every fiber in her body told her he was the one. But did he feel the same way? Would she be yesturdays news to him? He was everything she needed in love. He gave her the extra push and always made her feel good enough. But would it fade away?**

**His curious eye made her feel insecure. Was she not good enough? Would he leave her in the dust for someone with big boobs and less of a brain? Negative thoughts seemed to consume her mind and doubt his love for her. Should she fight for there love? What was she to do?**

**So many questions, ones without answers. Finally letting the tears fall, she cried for the child she never had.**

Her hands still shaking, from facing the end of a gun. She thought she could handle his life, but today made her realize she would never handle his life. His job affected every single aspect of her feelings towards him. She loved him so much, never a day went where she didnt think of him. He was the reason her heart would beat, he was the reason a smile would touch her lips. She only wished he felt the same.

The though of him kissing her lips and holding her in his arms until the end of time made life so much sweeter. But did he feel the same way, would he ever? Yes, she was happy he was a single man, but she didnt know the hurt it caused him. She asked herself over and over if he really was over her. 3 years together, a love like that doesnt fade away like yesturday.

Sighing, she sat that down on the comfy couch, that held every dirty little secret she thought about. What was she going to do now? Leave, the one person she loved, leave her safe net for a chance at love? Why did she marry him she asked herself time after time. Maybe somewhere in her heart she loved him, but life pulled them apart where the love the shared was a distant memory. She wanted someone her kids could call their father, someone who would be there when life got bad. But should she trade it all for true happiness?

So many thoughts drifted in her mind. Her eyes closing slowly and soon she slept in the only place that knew her secrets and longings. She yet, dreamt of a life with the other man.

**Hanging up the phone, she stood there utterly speechless in the quiet. Her husband, the one person she thought would never betray her just slept with some cheap whore. She had the nerve to describe the "night of passion" they shared. She felt like her heart was ripped into pieces, she would have to pick up whatever was left of her broken heart. Was this some cruel joke? Or was this life. Was he sick of never being a top priority in her life? Did he feel like the love for her ex never went away? She wasnt sure of that answer herself.**

**So many question, very little answers. Taking the picture from their wedding day she remembered every single aspect of that day, How his eyes twinkled with delight looking into her baby blue eyes. Loving the way his arms would fit around her waist. It was like they fit as a puzzle. The one piece she was looking for her whole life.**

**She knew somewhere in her heart that he still loved her. Maybe this was all a scheme to break them up. Whatever it was she just prayed and hoped he was alright and would come home to her. She would wait with open arms, even if it took forever.**


	2. Chapter 2

**When i write a story i try not to bash because to me the story seems un-real..I try to make it look gh style lol .**

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As the warm water overtook her life, her mind was finally free. She would no longer deal with the struggles and the name calling. She wouldnt have to hear whispers about her everywhere she went because she wouldnt be there anymore. She was drowning in a sea of fear, lies and betrayal. The water was her first real friend because it wouldnt judge her, it wouldnt make her feel like crap and it was always there. This was her suicide. 

_Let's talk this over It's not like we're dead Was it something I did?  
Was it something you said?_

_Don't leave me hangin'  
In a city so dead Held up so high On such a breakable thread_

Memories seemed to flood threw her mind. When it was just her against the world. How she had changed in the last couple of years. She had relied on Jason so much that she couldnt stand on her own two feet anymore. The need to love him made her weak and pathetic. Yes, without Jason she was nothing. She couldnt breath if he wasnt around, she couldnt see if he didnt lead her the way. It was like he controlled every single aspect of her life.

He wasnt her Jason because the Jason she knew wouldnt throw her away like yesturdays trash. If he really had cared enough he would have faught for her. If he really loved her enough secrets wouldnt have been in the equation. Honesty was something that was secure in their relationship. No matter how bad things got or how it hurt the other the truth would always be told. Maybe thats what drove her to revenge - the fact that he couldnt be honest with her anymore.

He chose to keep a secret that changed her life. It hurt to know he was having a baby with another women because all she dreamt of was having a family with him. Getting married and growing old together. That turned out really well because in the end she was left with nothing while Elizabeth got everything she ever wanted. But it really didnt matter anymore because Sam McCall wouldnt be stuck in the shadows.

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**As the tears cascaded down her delicate face, she had cried for the child she never had.**

**Getting up she whiped the remains of her tears away and looked ahead to a better life. Robin Scorpio was going to have a happy life it killed her. Determined to have a talk with Patrick, she went in her car and drove to General Hospital.**

**Getting off the elevator she searched for any sign of Patrick finding none she signed and went over to ask Epiphany. Walking over she realized Elizabeth wasnt her today. Yea they used to be friends but her sudden attitude made her just want to slap her. She walked all high and mighty whenever she was here, acting like she was better than everyone. God, how she wanted to knock her off her nausiating pedestal. She thought no one could touch her just because she jumping Jasons bones. Oh yes, she was going to get what was coming to her and pretty soon.**

**Breaking her from her thoughts Epiphany looked at her slightly annoyed, that anyone did anything but there Job.**

**"Did you come here to stare into space or ask a question" Ephiphany asked.**

**" Did you see Patrick?" She asked hopefully because she needed to set some things straight with him.**

**"Do i look like i care where he went? But if you must knew hes in the cafeteria, thinking about your earlier scare. It suprises me you know, because i never knew he had feelings." Epiphany told her, meaning every word.**

**Not saying a word Robin, left to go to the cafeteria. Bracing herself a big discussion. How would it go between them? Would it be just another one of those fights where no matter what she said he was always right?**

_You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be But we lost it All of the memories, so close to me Just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending_

**Spotting him she sat down in the vacant chair. Neither knowing what to say or how to start. Getting up the courage he told her how he felt about adding another life to the equation.**

**"Robin, I'm not ready to be a parent, at least not yet, and you -- you just said the same thing, so this is -- this is really the best thing that could have happened right now. Right?"**

**She signed, knowing he would never change his mind. By the sudden outburst of maybe a baby and the only thing he can think about was how it might screw up his swinging single life. They were never going to be on the same page. She would pull, he would push. She would want he wouldnt. Were there too many wrongs for the relationship to make a right?**

**Giving up, she told him the only thing he would want her to say " Right" Without much emotion or certainty.**

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She yet dreamt of the other man. She woke up to a cold sweat. The guilt eating her inside. She dreamt of the perfect life, only Lucky wasnt in the picture, Jason was. She couldnt stop thinking about him, it was like he was her pill and she couldnt get enough. Many nights she would picture Jason holding her instead of her husband. Him being there when Jake said daddy for the first time. Elizabeth wanted to be with him so badly, she wanted him to only have eyes for her and when she looked in his eyes she would see love for her. 

Weighing each option, what was she to chose? Lucky or Jason?

Lucky would always be safe, he would protect her at all cost and she cared about him. He was her husband and he made a commitment for better or worse to stick together. He was the only father Cam new and Jake knew him as Daddy and not one of mommys husbands. He would always be there.

_You've got your dumb friends I know what they say They tell you I'm difficult But so are they (So are they)  
But they don't know me Do they even know you? (Even know you)  
All the things you hide from me All the shit that you do (All the shit that you do)_

But Jason, she could feel every emotion in her body screaming pick Jason. Yes he was Jakes father, and the only man she had eyes for. He was the one she loved and always thought about a life with. But his job, made it so hard for her. She would have to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder. She wouldnt get to experience life because the threat would always be there.

Whats a girl to do?

As she heard the front door open, she saw Lucky coming in not bothering to look at her. She hurt him so badly, but she couldnt change back time and she wouldnt. She made a decision, one she hoped brought her happiness.

As Lucky sat down, she shocked the hell out the both of them

"Lucky, i wanna be with Jason"

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**Carly sighed, she had to find her husband, she would die trying. She knew one person that would help her get Jax back, she didnt like it very much but if it meant finding Jax she would do anything.**

**Waiting for the elevator to open, she emidiately went to the closed door and knocked with frustration, dislike and hope. She was going to convince him to find Jax even if it mean black mail.**

**Opening the door, he looked slightly annoyed. Did she know when to give up? Honestly, this women was the like the energizer bunny, she just kept going and going.**

**"What do you want?" Jerry asked her.**

**"Me and you are gonna take a little trip, and your gonna help me find Jax." Carly told him with determination. Not knowing if it would be worth it in the end.**


End file.
